What You'll Discover In This Episode:
Improving my emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) became priority number one for me many years ago, long before it became a buzzword and forward-thinking companies started training on it. That’s because my lack of emotional intelligence almost made me lose the love of my life. Here’s what happened…
My husband Joe and I started dating in high school 25 years ago. We then took a break for five years to really just go out and find ourselves independently of one another. When we got back together, we would have these intense conversations (or not even) and my eyes would well up or I’d get pissy and snap off (you know, just about all the immature, dysfunctional reactions you can think of). When I did, Joe would look at me and very respectfully say, “What specifically did I say that upset you?” and my typical answer would be (through tears, mind you), “I don’t know! I’m just mad/sad/upset.”
I remember feeling perplexed. Why on earth was I having all of these emotional and physical reactions to words? Just words! And at one point, Joe had had enough and said, “I can’t be in a relationship with someone where I’m stepping on landmines I don’t even know are there.”
Did he pretty much give me an ultimatum? Yep. Was he wrong to do so? Nope. Clearly, I had work to do. So, being the great man Joe is and wanting to make our relationship work, he stuck by me as I went on a journey of trying to figure out if I could successfully identify what upsets me and articulate why in a mature way. Let me tell you, it was a challenge! I found it really difficult to pinpoint what exact things were triggering me to react in childish ways. But I wasn’t willing to give up the future life I saw with Joe over my low EQ, so I went on a mission to really put in the work to improve my emotional intelligence. I read books, attended workshops, hired life coaches, and really worked on my self-awareness and personal development in general so I could communicate in a more mature, effective way.
Gone are the days of my emotionally charged reactions (well, almost). Present are the days of my thoughtful, productive reactions. The work paid off. My higher EQ has improved my relationships in both my business and personal life, so I’m grateful Joe stood up for himself many years ago when he said he wouldn’t be with a person who couldn’t articulate their emotions (way to hold your boundaries, Joe!). It was definitely the catalyst of my journey with emotional intelligence which continues today.
What I now know, having been in business for over 10 years, is that emotional intelligence serves a great purpose in business, especially when the stakes are high - when you’re across the table from clients, making sales deals, meeting with team members, identifying terms of partnerships, and negotiating with vendors. When you can recognize your emotions and not let them own you, your words, and your actions, you can respond to even the most outrageous things in a cool, calm, and collected way that leads with curiosity, empathy, and understanding which can only lead to a more productive outcome.
According to my guest Alex Resnick who is the Founder & President of Evolve Leadership, emotional intelligence is the superpower you want for everything in your life because as you get incrementally better at it, your life gets significantly better. In this episode of Productivity Straight Talk, I sit down with Alex to dive into the correlation between emotional intelligence and success, and discuss how you can raise your EQ to the point it becomes a superpower that helps you communicate better with others and succeed in business.
Episode Links & Resources:
Alex is the Founder & President of Evolve Leadership, providing communication skills training & sales consulting to businesses and individuals. Before Evolve, Alex spent 14 years in sales and consulting across the startup and corporate worlds. Despite the great experience, he still felt stuck in his career. Then in 2015, Alex was in a car accident that acted as a major wake-up call. He became obsessed with finding his ideal career path and designing an intentional life around it. He discovered his passion at the crossroads of startups & entrepreneurship combined with sales & consulting. Alex spent the next several years working with startups, then eventually a global consulting firm to get first hand experience. The combination of this enabled him to start Evolve Leadership, as he recognized a huge demand in the market for the things he loved to do most...help businesses and individuals get good at communicating and selling.